In March of 1998 I said good bye to my best friend.As a tribute to him and to help others learn from his life I have decidedto dedicate this spot to his memory. After all if it were not for him thisspot would simply not exist because I wouldn't be here. Although you probablynever met him my dad is the reason you are able to enjoy this web site.The ironic thing is he never got to see it. That's okay he never knew ofa lot of things he helped me to accomplish in my life.
After reading what is written below ask yourself"If I had a son that had a web site would this be what I would wantwritten about me ?" Or would you want him to write about all the thingsyou had killed while hunting, your gun collection or your financial or jobstatus?
While most everyone has a special dad John BellBesherse ( J.B.) was a DAD among dads. As you will read later in somethingmy youngest brother wrote about him. I am going to tell you some thingsthat made him the special person he was. I believe that after reading thisyou will evaluate your life and probably make a few changes. I know I havechanged after seeing The Effects of ONE GOOD MAN.
I knew dad was a liked man but I simply could nothave imagined how much until after his death. When we were making his burialarrangements at the funeral home I heard the phone ring several times. Afterone of the calls I saw one of the directors say to another "that'sanother one asking, we are going to have to put him in the chapel."
The night people came to offer their condolenceswas simply overwhelming. The chapel was large enough to sit several hundredpeople but that was not near long enough to hold the line of visitors. Theline went out the back doors through an entry room and out into the parkinglot quiet a ways. I couldn't believe all of this for a man retired and inhis late 60's. There were so many people that I decided to go down the lineand talk to them while they were waiting. I would walk up to them introducemyself and ask"how did you know daddy ?"
What I heard that night and for sometime laterwere stories that I had never heard before. An accumulation of a lifetimeof good deeds and kindness shown to his fellow man. My dad went quietlyabout doing good for others and never saying anything about it, not evenin a round about way. I never remember him saying "yeah I went downto Joe's house and give him some money, left some food ,etc." He justdidn't talk about doing the good things he did.
Here is just a sampling: "when I woke up in the hospital the firstface I saw was J.B. looking at me", "when I was hurt your dadcame by and gave me money to help me out ", "he was one fine man","you had the best dad I have ever seen","when I was in troubleyour dad came and helped me out and I'll never forget it". On and onall, the above was stated by more than one person.
There was more, lots more. The guy who was settingin the front room at the funeral home the day we had to make arrangements.He came up and said "the day my dad died your dad spent the whole daywith me helping me with all this stuff and I have never forgotten it."The man was a casual friend to daddy ,the best I can remember we never ateat their house or anything like that, but dad took off from work and spentthe whole day with him....I never knew. I will never forget that man forwhat he did that day for me. Funny isn't it, my dad taught me a lesson throughthis fellow and daddy wasn't even alive.
Have you ever heard the analogy of someone whowalks the beach and leaves tracks in the sand. You can see where they havebeen even though they may not be anywhere close when you see the tracks.It became apparent to me very quickly that J.B. Besherse had left alot oftracks in the lives and on the hearts of many people. I can never remembera funeral where so many grown men were openly weeping. Some were so badthat I had to hold them up and comfort them....I still haven't gotten overthat.
The food, flowers, cards, calls and visits weresimply unbelievable. I received cards from old friends that I hadn't seenor heard from in 15 years. All talked of the impact dad had on them. I rememberback when I graduated we had to pick a parent to lead the closing prayerto send us off into the world. It was unanimous, the class wanted my dad...Ididn't nominate him, I didn't have to. Daddy always had a special placein his heart for kids and all the kids knew it.
Dad went to Korea not because he had to but becausehe wanted to, he was too young to be there but somehow found a way to goserve his country. While he was there he came across a young Korean boycrying because his mother and father had been killed. Daddy took him backto camp and cared of him. Daddy was out one day in the fields and had hisleg broken very badly. They had to fly him to Japan and do surgery on it.He never saw the boy again. Mom said he use to lay awake at night worryingabout the boy and what became of him.
Daddy was a unique man, humble, loving, caring,and somewhat quiet. When he talked to someone he was always interested inthem. He'd let them talk about what they were doing and center the conversationaround that instead of carrying the conversation of what he was or was wantingto do. He always seemed to be wearing a teddy bear face and it was alwaysa pleasure to be around him.
Although he never came out and said it his lifeexemplified an I'm Last Philosophy. He put everyone's needs in frontof his own. I had the pleasure of taking him on some of my many road tripsto different events. On one trip late one night somewhere between MaconGA and home it occurred to me that every conversation I could remember havingwith him in my life revolved around me. I remember saying "daddy Inever have heard you say what you wanted to do in your life so now's yourchance. You are retired and have some free time what do you want to do ?"I think the question must have took him by surprise because he had to gatherhis thoughts, besides it had taken me over 30 years to ask.
After a moment or two he basically said "whateveryour mom wants to do". How typical. I started realizing at that pointthat he probably never considered such things. His life revolved aroundmaking others happy and mom was second on the list only to God. The kidscame next then the grand kids-those two were reversed at times. There werethe other family members, friends, acquaintances and then strangers. Hemay have put himself after acquaintances but that's up for debate.
He had always wanted a workshop when we were younger.He didn't have a good area to fix things and we were bad about using histools as toy tractor plows and such. Anyway about three years ago my momsaid "you are going to have to talk to your dad about the workshop,we have had plenty of money to build one in an account for several yearsand he won't use it." I told her not to worry the master negotiatorwas on the case.
I caught him outside and thought "this isgreat I'll start talking to him about it, then make him get a mental pictureof it. I'll remind him that he has always wanted one,that he really coulduse the work shop and now there was no reason he couldn't build one."I started in on him ,went through the above scenario then went for the close.I said "Now right here is the best spot, I can run the power underground, I'll call and get some gravel in here , get the concrete poured,and order the lumber.Then in a day or so Lee and I will come out here andhave it up and the roof on in a couple of days." My plan was workinggreat, that is until I stopped talking and he started. "Son I don'tthink now is such a good time to do this...something might happen to meand your mom might need that money."
That was that...no workshop and I knew not to sayanything else. I went in the house were Mom was anxiously waiting. "Howdid it go?" she asked. "He said no" I replied. "Whatare we going to do with him?" she muttered. I just shrugged my shoulders.You see even though the above may come across otherwise there was nevera doubt who was in control of the family. What he said went. Even Wesleymy son knew the hierarchy by the time he was 8 or 9. I was getting on tohim pretty good one time. I don't know if it included a switch but eitherway Wes let me know real quick were I stood. In the middle of our "discussion"he said " you better watch out or I'll tell Papa "(my dad).I guess you know how big that made me feel.
Daddy was a man's man. Another man who I have alot of respect for described him by saying "he was much a man".He went on to describe how big his arms were...like I needed an accuratedescription . Dad had 5 of us kids and there was 12 years of differencein us. We could all get on him and he could still throw us off, we couldnever hold him down even after the older ones were quiet big. The day hedied I still thought he could whop me with one hand....and he could have.
When I was about eight I remember one of our horseshad tried to rake and/or throw one of my siblings off. I still can feelthe fear I felt then seeing him "take care of the horse" as heput it. He didn't take kindly to anything or anybody hurting one of hisprecious possessions. He picked up a feed scoop handle, grabbed the horseby the bridle and let the thrashing begin. I was so scared, I just knewone of them was starting to die. As it ended neither did but I bet thathorse didn't do anything bad to one of us for a long time.
One of the last things I saw him do was ride hishorse. We were over at his house and the kids wanted to ride. Of coursehe stopped what he was doing and hurried to put on his boots and saddle'em up. My youngest son is eat up with the horses. At this time he was 21/2 but he wasn't afraid one bit. He wanted me to ride him on Big Jack.The name fits. He weights at least 1200 pounds. I put my son Zach on andthen hopped into the saddle. We road some , then Big Jack decided he didn'twant to ride us anymore. He pulled all the classic moves like walking sidewaysand giving the hint that he just might throw us if we didn't oblige him.With Zach on board I didn't want any problems so I let Big Jack go backto the barn. As we were heading back I told the horse "you think you'rebad now you wait till I get this kid off and we'll see what you got."Thewhole time I was thinking about how hard I would ride him and the like.My plan was going good until daddy reached and got Zach down then told mein a gruff voice "Get Off". "Yes Sir" I said.
Dad had been watching the whole thing....have Itold you he doesn't take kindly to that sorta thing. The horse was basicallyridden into the ground and at a fast pace I might add. My youngest brotherMark was there beside me watching. We just sorta looked at each other. Ibroke the silence by saying "I'm not tellin' him he's too old and/orhe shouldn't be doing it ....that I'll take care of it for him....I'm notthat crazy!" My brother replied with "yeah I caught him out herethe other day running him wide open, back and forth across the pasture.....whattaya gonna do?"
I could go on and on. This is just a tid bit. What did daddy teach me?
He taught memany things. How to handle things, animals and people. How to shoot a gun,sharpen a knife, clean an animal, run a drill,chain saw and hammer. Workon a car, heater, dryer ,light socket etc. How to hunt, fish and plant agarden. How to start a lawn mower, drive a truck ,operate a tractor andfix a fence. How to use a shovel, pick, ax , rake or hoe. How to put a roofon a house, tin on a barn and paint on walls. How to shine my shoes, ironmy clothes (because mom had other things that she needed to do) and tiea dress tie. Wash the car, dishes and my clothes. How to cook, wipe thecabinets and sweep the floor. He taught me how to take care of myself!
What did I learn from J.B.Besherse
I learned thatin life whether you are dealing with your animals or your family someonehas to be in control and that it better be you.....or you are infor some trouble. I learned that even though you are in control that doesn'tmean you are a dictator and that you come first. I learned that you arenever too busy to take your family to church. I learned how to love yourwife and kids . I learned how to treat my fellow man. I learned that doingyour best was as important as what you were doing. I learned all thisand more not by what he said but by what he did. Some people are bigon words and short on action. Daddy was short on words and big on actions
What did I learn from the deathof J.B.Besherse
I learnedthat the footprints you leave in the sand are there long after you are gone
I Learned the "EffectsOf ONE GOOD MAN"
Have you ever noticed the only difference betweenGod and Good is one o
Below is something my youngest brother wrotethe day my dad died . It was read at the funeral
Dad did everything that could be asked of a father.In 12 years of ball games I can't remember him missing a one. In the yearsthat I was in school I remember his day going something like this: Wakethe kids for school with "Rise & Shine" followed by a flickof the light switch. In the event there was a slow riser Dad had the classicstatement "Do you want the fireman to come see you!" This wasa very not so subtle way of Dad letting the slow riser know that a firewould be extinguished shortly in his bed.
After everyone was up and moving he would makea sack lunch for himself and Mom. In the event that Mom was going to drivea separate car he always made sure she had plenty of gas. In 45+ years Iwould venture to guess that Mom has put gas in a car less than 50 times.After work the trip was made from Huntsville to Athens to watch and supportone or more of the kids at ball games. After games there was always a paton the back and a word of encouragement no matter what the outcome of thegame. By the time we got home it was bedtime and the next day the regimentwould start all over.
While doing all of this he managed to go church3 times a week. This was all done without a single complaint. Complainingwas basically omitted from Dad's personality, he often referred to complainingas crying over "spilt milk". He was the consummate Father, Husbandand Family Man. He was the everything every Dad should be. He was the closestthing to God this son has every seen on earth. All of his good deeds, allthe meals he cooked, all of the thousands of games he attended, all therigors of Fatherhood were done without complaint. All of this from a manwho grew up on the wrong side of town, poor and without his Dad by the ageof 7. He was indeed a fighter who never let life get him down. Dad was nota Golfer, avid Hunter or Fisherman. He was simply a dedicated family man.
In all his years I never remember him looking atanother woman other than Mom. I can't recall him even hinting that anotherwoman was attractive other than my Mom. He simply refused to allow anythingto interfere with his dedication to being the Greatest Father, The BestHusband and the Best Grandpa in the world. He was everything to the BesherseFamily: Our Rock, Our Anchor, and Our Supporter. He was truly good.
THIS WAS MY FATHER
Mark Besherse
After reading what J.B. Besherse son's have saidabout him would you rather your son's talk about all the game animals youhad taken or all the their games you attended. How much money you made orhow you taught them how to make money. All the things you had done or allthe things you helped them do. How you had helped yourself climb the latterof success or how you had helped others less fortunate. Dad was a very successfulperson but neither of us talked about that. As it was stated at his funeralhe had attained all kinds of things but not because he tried but becausehe was such a good person that it just came with the territory.
I hope that one day your son will be writingan article about you titled The Effectsof ONE GOOD MAN because the world needs a lot more men like daddy!
Sincerely,
DougBesherse